The "sport" of adoption
From a very popular online adoption community:

Ugh, adoption is a rough sport...The adoption process really sucks sometimes. There's no candy-coating it. It's hard, it's painful, it rips your heart out again and again.....
and then....
You finally are chosen - And life - life - is....
Wonderful, jubilant, exciting, overwhelming with joy, happy, ecstatic, so full of love that you think you'll burst....
Then you start to forget - just a little - about all the bad times.

And this was posted by an adopter. Yes folks, you read correctly adopters have it the roughest of them all.

I guess in all my 26 years of life as an adoptee wondering what my mother looked like, sounded like and wondering what it would've been like to have been raised with my siblings; I totally forgot how hard it is for adopters to "sell themselves" in order to con some poor woman into giving them her child.

I guess in the last 11 years since I lost my son to adoption; the nights I went to bed crying hoping I wouldn't wake up in the morning, the years of putting on a happy face so that people would think I was "ok", trying to convince myself that I would eventually get over the loss of my child, my first born son, the first blood relative I had ever seen in my life, I guess I forgot how hard it must be for people who covet other women's babies.

They complain about how much money they have to come up with in order to cover all the paperwork ::wink wink:: but have they ever thought about how it feels to know that you were purchased?? Literally bought and paid for??

I'm sorry but from my point of view the adopters have it the easiest of them all.

"Our Birthmother"
Mood:  irritated
Could any phrase be more insulting? How about "our brood mare" or "our incubator" or "our baby factory"??? What is the difference?

What's more disgusting than the people who actually use the phrase "our birthmother" is that our society thinks it is totally "ok" to do so.

Now they even have the phrase potential birthmother. Let's try to mitigate the mother's role during pregnancy just a tad bit more shall we?? She's not a mother, right?? She's just carrying their child! BLECH!!

It's okay for infertiles to covet another woman's child. Obviously they are more deserving of her child than she is. Isn't that their line of reasoning and what our society has been force fed by the adoption industry?

To hear some of these adopters speak you would think that they themselves are pregnant. They talk about when "they're expecting" and how they're "nesting". I've even heard some call themselves "paperwork pregnant". I guess according to them, they're just as entitled to expectant mother parking spots at the mall than an actual expectant mother!! They talk about how they want their hospital experience to be. How beyond twisted is that?

When will people wake up and realize what is happening to women in this country? No human being is entitled to have a child, it is not a fundamental right.

The Misrepresentation Of Open Adoptions
Mood:  sharp
I can't tell you how many posts I happen upon, on different message boards each day with young women boasting about how happy they are because they were promised an open adoption.

I shake my head in sadness each time. I shake my head because no matter how many times women like myself share our story, no matter how many times we shine light on the truth of "open" adoptions and adoption in general, people don't want to hear it.

Why?? Because it's not pretty. It's not the happy package tied up with a bow that everyone wants you to believe it is. Adoption is not the win win situation.....period.

11 years ago I lost my son to adoption. I was promised the world. I was told what the adoption agency knew I wanted to hear. I was promised continued contact with my son. I was promised a relationship with him no matter how tenuous, but a relationship none the same.

I knew almost immediately after I signed the papers terminating my rights to my son that things were not going to be what they were promised. The dangling carrot had finally been yanked away.

Months went by, and although I never truly let myself acknowledge the horror of what had been done to me, I knew that no matter what anyone said to me, I would never go back to normal. There was no "moving on", there was no "letting go". My normal life was gone and left in it's place was this horrible emptiness.

Almost every single thing I was told by the adoption agency was a lie. Every single promise they made to me was broken. Within 3 years of my son's birth his adoption wasn't so "open" anymore.

A few weeks ago I happened upon the email address of the social worker who handled my son's adoption. I wanted her to know that I knew that she lied to me. Her response?? I wrote it down so I would never forget. It shows how the adoption industry speaks out of both sides of it's mouth at once.

"I told you that when you signed those papers terminating your rights that it vetoed all of your rights, including any agreements made beforehand."

First of all I can guarantee you that she never said anything close to that above statement before I gave birth OR afterward for that matter. What would the point be in having an agreement with adopters that was null and void once you signed away your rights???

I wish these women who are promised the world would step outside of the comfort zone and read stories like mine and the many others like me before it's too late.